How I Survived Leaving My One-Year-Old for the First Time
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Photo: Sean MacEntee / Creative Commons
My eyes became teary at the thought of leaving her. I came close a few times to forgetting about the whole thing and staying home. But the big picture of our lives kept nagging at me, and I had to make the leap.
I'm a firm believer that being an enriched, fulfilled mommy will help me raise a well-rounded and confident daughter. So I went to BlogHer '11 in San Diego last week, where I spent three days soaking in words of wisdom from strong and inspiring women. I can't possibly encapsulate everything I learned in this post -- but what I can do is share how I was able to leave town knowing that my daughter would be happy and safe so that I could focus on absorbing some greatness.
A Simple Care Sheet: It Could Be for Your Own Benefit
Before I left, I put together a care sheet for my husband, who would be taking care of Alex in my absence. Steve is a total pro, so putting the information down on paper was for my own peace of mind. I kept it short and sweet so that the relevant information would be easy to find, and so that he was only minimally insulted by receiving directions on how to care for his own child.
Here are the items I included on the sheet:
- Her routine and schedule, including nap times, meal times, and certain activities we share during the day, like walks.
- Snack and meal suggestions.
- A recipe for egg pancake, her favorite soft food du jour while she's teething.(Recipe to come.)
- Relevant phone numbers and addresses.
Since her routine stayed on track and she was exposed to familiar and favorite foods and activities, she wouldn't be thrown off kilter while I was absent. I'm convinced that life at home would have gone just as smoothly without the care sheet. However, by doing the brain dump on paper before I left, I could easily resist the urge to call with "helpful" advice while I should have been listening to conference speakers.
Keep in Touch
I called several times a day in between sessions so that Alex could hear my voice. My husband would put the phone on speaker so that I could sing and chatter at Alex. Steve said that the phone calls made her smile, and it was beneficial for Alex to hear me to talking to her so she would know I was accessible.
Another easy way to keep your child from missing you is to record a simple video using your cell phone and text it. That way she can watch it when she gets up in the morning, goes to bed at night, or anytime she might be fussing for you. Likewise, have your child's caretaker text you photos and videos so you can see what your little cherub is up to. Since I was only gone for three days, we didn't sweat this one.
We Haven't Missed a Beat
When I got home, it was like I'd never left. Alex was happy to see me, but my welcome home reception was nothing like when you leave a golden retriever for a few hours and come back. Truth be told, I might have been hoping for more baby-tail-wagging than I actually got.
I'm convinced, though, that no big reaction means the anxiety I suffered during the contemplation phase was all for naught. And for three days, I soaked up fabulous information and advice that will make me a better woman and blogger, and with luck and hard work, a great example to my daughter.
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