10 Family Summer Vacation Horrors
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While the rest of the nation is shivering in fear thanks to Shark Week, here are the real-life reasons why mothers are afraid to go near the water while on summer vacation.
1. The Pool Shut Down - On a packed, pefect summer Saturday, the lifeguard's announcement of "There's been a poop in the pool, please evacuate!" is thanks to your child's swim diaper fail. And everyone knows it.
2. The Torturous Tunes - Your pool plays exactly two CDs - Steve Miller and Jimmy Buffett. And while summery and amusing the first few plays, pretty soon that space cowboy eating his cheeseburger in paradise is driving you to margaritaville.
3. The Waxing Amnesiatic -You have worked out for months and searched for weeks for the perfect swimsuit. However, upon strutting along the crowded beach you realize you forgot one very crucial grooming step.
4. The Crisis Call - You are deplaned, unpacked and your first frozen fruity drink is poured. Too bad your Blackberry is buzzing with an unavoidable emergency back at the office.
5. The Absentminded Walleteer - You have never seen a grocery store at the shore more packed, but an hour in the checkout line with your overflowing cart was finally worth it. Except you're going to have to do it again, since you left your wallet in your beach bag back at the house (with your starving family).
6. The Hurricane Horror - For your wedding anniversary you cajoled Grandma Fran to watch the kids so you adults could loll around the beaches of Lady Bahama kid-free.Too bad Hurricane Helga had the great idea of keeping you cooped inside the hotel restaurant, surrounded by other people's children.
7. The Beach Book Catastrophe - You forget to bring books on vacation, and the only reading material at your rental is a battered Mary Higgins Clark missing half its pages and a Woman's Day from 1992.
8. The Traffic Jam Terror - Hell hath a name, and it is the Expressway (ha!) at 5 p.m. on a Friday in August
9. The Damp Disaster - It seemed a nice idea to max out your Hawaiian beach time by pulling your jeans right over your not-quite-dry bikini bottoms before boarding the plane. However, halfway across the Pacific the intense itching begins.
10. The Magnanimous Mistake - Mellowed and happy on the drive home from your vacation, in a moment of "It Takes a Village" kindness in a rest stop bathroom you give a desperate mother that extra diaper in your bag. Only upon reaching your car do you realize it was your last, and your constipated baby has just had an important breakthrough.
What is your best vacation horror story? Tell us in the comments below!
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