Would You Carry Your Best Friend's Baby?
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In the make-believe world of Hollywood, movies and TV shows almost always has an unhappy ending in stories about surrogacy. Either the surrogate won't give the baby up or the wrong embryo was implanted in the surrogate. Regardless of what happens, relationships are torn apart and the children suffer. But for real-life best friends, Tamara and Logan, surrogacy brought them closer together.
In an article posted on CNN.com via Parenting.com, Tamara shared the story of how difficult her first pregnancy was and how doctors told her that carrying another child would not be an option for her. Enter Logan, a mother of three kids of her own. They quickly developed a deep friendship. When Tamara told her of her desire to have another baby and the impossibility of carrying it out, Logan unselfishly stepped up and offered to carry the baby for her.
Tamara was touched by the offer but quickly dismissed the idea. Cut to a few years later, and Tamara's want for another child hadn't diminished, nor had her husband's. She approached Logan and asked her if the offer still stood. Logan again graciously offered to carry the baby and plans were set in place. Both women -- and both of their husbands -- were on board.
After a long bout with fertility drugs and one failed attempt at an embryo transfer, Logan was pregnant. She carried the baby to full term, had a grueling and long delivery, and finally delivered a healthy second child for Tamara and her husband.
The two women swear the relationship has only brought them closer together. What the article doesn't cover, however, is the feelings associated with it. Logan still sees Tamara and her baby every day (she's pumping breast milk for the baby). Does she feel a strong connection to the baby or does she see him or her simply has her friend's child and nothing more? Does Tamara ever worry about Logan's feelings toward the baby? How do the husbands really feel about it? And how did they explain the situation to their existing children?
Of course there's no right or wrong answer. I'm sure the feelings and fears involved are extensive and complex. I'm just curious as to how they muddle through those emotions. I imagine it would be great advice for others looking to do the same thing. In any case, this sounds like an amazing story of friendship with a very happy ending. Congratulations to Tamara and her new baby, and to Logan, I say, "What an incredible thing you did. We all need friends like you!"
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