Uh Oh! Helicopter Parents Take it to the Workplace
Tweet
Photo Credit: Lucas Lenci Photo/Getty Images
Dear helicopter parents, please start letting your children fight their own battles! After causing colleges to have to find a new way to "deal" with parents who were constantly checking on their children, calling professors, and meddling in the issues of roommates, it appears helicopter parents are taking it to the workforce. A recent article on NPR cites a study done by Michigan State University in 2006-2007 which surveyed 700 employers seeking to hire recent college graduates in 2006 and found that 31 percent of parents had submitted resumes on behalf of their child and somewhere between 12 and 32 percent of employers had had interaction with a parent or parents of a potential employee with greater interaction the larger the size of the company. But regardless of how many parents are doing it, the bottom line is that they shouldn't be.
As someone who once managed several people who were in college or just out of college, I once encountered one of these helicopter parents who wasn't happy with an incident at work in which her daughter was clearly in the wrong. I am more than happy to sit down and have a conversation with an employee and try to work something out, but when a mother comes into a place of work and starts threatening people, especially in front of customers, the game is pretty much over. An employee who cannot be mature enough to handle their own battles is not one that I want working for me, and even if it is someone who continues to work for me, my opinion of that person will significantly be lowered and they will be less likely to be promoted or given additional responsibility if they can't handle even the smallest of difficult situations without calling their mom or dad.
What are Children Learning?
We of course all want our children to succeed. We want everyone else to know how talented and capable they are. But fighting your children's battles or even just submitting a resume does not help your child in any way. Job hunting, writing resumes, fighting the fight on their own are all really important parts of growing up and becoming an adult. And doing these things helps build skills and character that they will carry with them through their lives.
If a parent is sending resumes, attending interviews, and calling the boss for a raise, what is the child supposed to do when their boss asks them to run a report or go to a conference. Does mom or dad have to help them or go with them? There's no doubt that our children will falter a little (or maybe even a lot) as they set out on their own, but those are the moments in life when they learn the most about who they are.
That's not to say that if a parent has a particular connection to an employer that they shouldn't use the connection and let the person know that their kid is applying for the position. Networking is a big part of the employment game. But flat out doing the work that your child should be doing doesn't benefit anyone.
Negative and Positive Experiences are Important Parts of Life
What'll the helicopter parent do next? Go on dates to screen potential suitors? Act as a surrogate so that their child doesn't have to have swollen feet or be subjected to labor pains? There are a lot of unpleasant parts of life, but getting through them is what makes us all the more stronger and wiser. It is important that we nudge our children and support them along the way without taking over their lives and taking away these experiences that will mold them into strong and successful adults.
Top Articles on Letting Children Succeed on Their Own:
Why Your Child's First Lie is Cause for Celebration
Dutch Teen Sailor Becomes Youngest to Solo Circumnavigate the World
Why Getting Our Kids Involved in Politics is Important
