10 Things Mothers Should Stop Apologizing For

Family Matters on 04.16.12
Contributor bio

Photo: butupa/Creative Commons

Oh, moms: We're often our own harshest critics. Someone can make an honest, good-natured observation and we feel the need to rationalize our every decision. I've long been a victim of this line of thinking, but have recently decided to fight the urge to explain my every choice because, as long as I'm taking excellent care of our kids, I don't have to answer to anybody! Get these ten excuses, justifications, and explanations out of your vocabulary now.

1. "I had an epidural because I can't handle pain." Obviously, that's the reason that most women have epidurals. I know a lot of mothers choose to forego pain assistance, but that's not to say that women who opt for it are bad moms. We simply realize our limits.

2. "Yes, I've lost weight, but I'm still so fat." Even if you don't feel like yourself, a compliment is still a compliment. If you work hard, you'll reach your goals, so try to take it easy on yourself, okay?

3. "Sorry I have to nurse my baby." Breastfeeding is the way nature intended for us to feed our children. There's nothing to apologize for (although you might want to use a nursing cover for modesty's sake).

4. "I'm not nursing my baby because..." It's nobody's business why you chose not to nurse your child. Perhaps it's medical, or maybe you just didn't want to. Either way, a mother that's put off by nursing isn't going to be able to enjoy it, which negates most of the purpose.

5. "My house is such a wreck!" All of our houses are wrecks. If they weren't, it would probably mean that life were pretty dull. Don't beat yourself up about it!

6. "I don't get much 'serious reading' done." Don't feel bad because your copy of Pride & Prejudice is covered in dust bunnies. It's a banner day when I manage to pick up anything other than my kid's school reader.

7. "I'm such a failure - my children hate vegetables." Personally, I think that children are hardwired to reject anything healthy. All we can do is offer it and hope that one day something will 'click' in their brains.

8. "I really need a night away, but I feel so bad leaving my children." I'm sure you love your children with all your heart and soul, but you also love the ability to sip a martini and talk about something other than potty-training for a couple of hours. There's no shame in that.

9. "My child isn't potty-trained because..." All kids are different. Some master the potty at early ages and others seem poised to start Kindergarten without being totally on board. They'll figure it out (and then find other ways to stump us).

10. "I'm such a slacker. I really should go back to work." Seriously? Anyone who thinks a stay-at-home mom is a slacker needs a reality check. Pat yourself on the back for being dedicated enough to devote yourself to your family so completely.

Top Articles on Moms
5 Things Moms Do That Don't Make Us Bad Mothers

Why a Mommy Time Out Will Save Your Sanity

5 Unexpected, Totally Swoon-worthy Gifts for a Mom-to-be